


Those Gentle Woes

by Corrosive_M



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Ass to Mouth, Bottom Shiro (Voltron), Hand Jobs, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Pet Names, Praise Kink, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:09:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corrosive_M/pseuds/Corrosive_M
Summary: Keith hadn’t mentioned too much for the sake of his father’s privacy, but the bits and pieces were enough for Shiro to get the full picture.  The frustration, the guilt, the understanding that life could never go back to what it used to be.  Shiro understood it all.  And here was Keith, yet again offering unconditional help and support, for no other reason than because he wanted to do it.“Shiro, baby…” The tears were falling now, his throat was tight, and his lungs seized because he refused to cry out.  He was so ashamed, but also so absurdly happy.“Just let me be there for you.  Please.” All Shiro could do was nod, letting his boyfriend stand from his chair and engulf him in the sweetest kiss he’s ever received.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron), sheith
Comments: 13
Kudos: 65





	Those Gentle Woes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GoldenTruth813](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenTruth813/gifts).



This hadn’t been Shiro’s main idea of what he believed his life would be after he graduated college. Never mind the fact that he hadn’t landed on his dream job -there aren’t that many places clamoring for any aerospace engineers, unfortunately-, he at least expected his job prospects to be a bit _better_ than what he was saddled with. Instead, here he was juggling two jobs as a full-time cashier at a mom and pop sandwich shop four blocks away, and spending whatever little time he had left as an Uber driver, mostly during the weekends. And even so, it seemed like he was always _just_ scraping by, his salary going mostly to pay for his shoe-box apartment that could only really justify its price by its center location in the middle of the city. Shiro was fed up with it all, frankly. But he toiled on, grasping on to the hope that hopefully, maybe, this wouldn’t be his reality forever. He sighed quietly to himself and smiled softly at his friend Hunk, helping the man close shop.

“So, you’re up for that movie night tomorrow?” Hunk asked, patting away some flour that stuck to his pants as he pocketed the key.

“I’m not really sure I can. Weekend nights are usually busy for me.” Shiro said reluctantly, not really wanting to waste away the night to make some potential extra cash. Honestly, he probably had a better work-life balance back when he was in college, he thought bitterly. He tried not to let that show on his face.

“Aww, but it feels like forever since we were all in the same place. You sure you can’t afford to take the night off this once?” Hunk stared at him with hopeful eyes, an inviting smile tugging at his lips. It really was a tempting thought, though. Ever since the Incident, he can’t really think of many moments where he just hung out for the sake of it. His brain merely decided that the best course of action to take after he found himself alone was to simply sink all his time and effort into work. An overworked mind was better than a depressed one, or so Shiro thought. To Shiro’s relief, a heavy hand landed on his shoulder in an amicable gesture, preventing his brain from spiraling once again.

“I really, _really_ think you should let yourself take a break every once in a while, man. It won’t be the end of the world, you know.” Shiro snorted, pocketing his hands into his jacket against the beginning chill of the late afternoon. 

“I’ll think about it. Just… cash is kind of tight right now.” Shiro offered a bit hesitantly, feeling a bit abashed admitting as much. He never wanted people to feel sorry for him in any capacity. He already gets his fill of that whenever people take notice of his prosthetic for the first time.

“Yeah, I get it. Just give me a text if you decide to show up, yeah?” Hunk patted him on the shoulder once before making his way to his beat-up yellow truck. Shiro assented with his head and gave the man a small wave, heading towards the opposite way on the sidewalk and towards the direction of his apartment. He took a deep breath and let it out softly, letting the plights and worries of the day slowly drain out of him in small bits. Not for the first time was he glad for Hunk’s easy company and considerate nature, refusing to pry or to insist upon a point. He was grateful for all of his friends, honestly. Their laid-back friendship and unwavering support played a huge part on Shiro’s recovery (both physical and emotional), so it aggravated something in him that he couldn’t do something as simple as hang out with them occasionally. Especially since it was obvious they _wanted_ his company at the moment. As he jingled his keys in front of his doorstep, an echo of his therapist’s words circled his mind:

_It’s normal to want to self-isolate, especially with your condition. But try not to give in to that urge so easily._

Shiro scoffed as he took off his shoes and threw away his keys on top of the kitchen counter, shrugging off his jacket and tossing that on the nearby chair. He didn’t necessarily believe himself to be so antisocial that his therapist needed to hammer in the point, but perhaps she had been onto something after all. Shiro didn’t hate people or had any problem being around others at all. In fact, people often flocked to him once upon a time, but that was before… When he was still whole and _normal_ and didn’t have a plethora of issues the size of Mt. Fuji. Maybe his friends had kept most of his uglier symptoms at bay, but now that he was alone… He could feel how the walls would close in around him sometimes, how the dark shadows of his room made him jumpier and warier, how the popping sound of popcorn and fried eggs would instinctively make him tense up and his sweat run cold. His fight or flight response was being triggered more and more commonly as the days went by, but he didn’t want to cave and tell his therapist these things, didn’t want _even more_ prescriptions assigned to him, especially not when he could barely afford to eat. 

“One thing at a time…” He muttered to himself as he prepared a hasty sandwich coupled with a protein bar and water. Not exactly what anyone would call dinner, per se, but it was still better than going to bed on an empty stomach. The first couple of days after being discharged from his army duties, Pidge nearly threw a fit when she discovered his fridge was practically bereft of food. It hadn’t been that Shiro didn’t want to eat necessarily, but more that he couldn’t bring himself to. It had been alarming enough that Pidge and the rest of her family practically adopted Shiro and gave him the task of relearning how to function like a human being once more. It had also been Pidge’s idea for him to visit a therapist, and although Shiro was very much against showing weakness of any kind, he accepted the offer, if only so his friends could have some peace of mind. He still wasn’t completely sure if therapy has had that much of an impact on him just yet, but he did have to admit that speaking to someone without the risk of judgment felt good. Plus, the medication that she recommended was decent enough that his mind would allow him to function to the point where he could actually go to work.

After taking his plate and retiring to his couch, Shiro turned on the television and started to browse Netflix on autopilot, trying to find something that looked at least halfway decent. Most of his recommended were nature documentaries and the like. Shiro had to learn the hard way that movies with excessive violence and sharp, loud noises made his heartbeat skyrocket and his nightmares turn worse. It seemed like he was resigned to re-watching a documentary about arctic penguins when his phone buzzed with a text message.

 _[Lance] 7:38pm  
Yo you coming to hunks place or what???  
PIZZA baby!!_ 🍕🍕🍕🤤

Shiro worried his bottom lip for a few seconds before answering, deliberating. A part of his heart longed to say yes, but his brain and body were frozen in casual fear, anxiety pulsing in his head with an overabundance of _bills, food, rent, work, worthless, worthless_ , _**worthless**_. He remembered to take a deep breath, closing his eyes against the onslaught of his fears, trying not to entertain them for long. It had been a strategy his therapist had suggested, and he was glad for it in a superficial sense. A year ago, he would’ve crawled under his sheets and stared blankly at a wall, paralyzed by his own inability to tell his head to shut up.

_[Me] 7:40pm  
I’ll think about it. Not sure I can ditch a work night._

Technically not true, he was an Uber driver, he didn’t _need_ to schedule any works hours, but admitting that the thought of not working was making his skin crawl seemed just a tad too pathetic. His phone went off again with another immediate text from Lance.

_[Lance] 7:40pm  
Nooooo weve been planning this 4EVER!!!  
PLZ  
at least for like an hour or 2_

Shiro paused once again, chest tight with want and hope. He… _could_ just stop by and stick around for two hours, and just go do his usual drives after that. Friday nights were always busy, he didn’t need to start his routine early in the afternoon. Just before he could think of an appropriate response, Lance beat him to the punch with another text.

_[Lance] 7:41pm  
Keith is gonna be there dude!!_

It took Shiro a few seconds before the words on screen fully registered in his head, but when they finally did, a flood of lukewarm and fuzzy memories assaulted his brain in rapid succession. Keith… His best friend Keith, the quiet, morose boy whom he met in middle school and parted ways with after he graduated high school. The troubled boy that no one wanted to approach except for Shiro, who was always drawn to his prickly exterior and stunning eyes. Shiro’s breathing became a bit faulty, thinking to the time of his high school graduation, how only Keith had been there for him since Shiro’s family was unfortunately no more. He had promised Keith that he would keep in touch, that they could call and text every day if they wanted. But after his first year of college, Keith became noticeably quiet and distant, until eventually Shiro lost contact with him. He hadn’t understood why, and he still doesn’t fully get it. But now he was in town apparently, and in good enough terms with the others that he had been invited to Hunk’s place. Lance seemingly took Shiro’s lack of an immediate response as dumbfounded revelation, for he texted again.

_[Lance] 7:43pm  
I KNO RIGHT???  
I ran into him  
he works at the car shop downtown  
marmora something idk  
bet he wants to c u  
CMON!!_

Shiro stared astonished at the screen, re-reading the conversation over and over. He could feel the elation inside his chest, the possibility of reconnecting with an old friend, and perhaps regaining a little, tiny bit of his old identity along with it. Shiro loved his friends so very much, but no one had known him like Keith knew him. He wanted… He wanted so desperately to see his face once more, but just as soon as that want registered, a crushing feeling of apprehension spread across his lungs and heart like a disease. He gripped his knee with his prosthetic hand and gave a squeeze, noting the unnatural glint of the lightweight metal reflecting the glow of the television. He’s changed _so_ much since they last spoke… He was scarred in so many ways, literally and figuratively, would Keith even want to reconnect with him? He was basically a stranger now, just a shadow of his former self, nowhere near the optimistic young man that had parted ways with Keith all those years ago. 

He was about to let his fears make him flinch and bail _again_ , but he took a sharp breath and let it sit inside his lungs for a few seconds too long. He remembered to stop the panic once more (it was getting a bit easier to spot it), and gently began typing out his response to Lance before he could chicken out.

_[Shiro] 7:47pm  
I’ll show up_

\------

Hunk’s place was as homey as always, sofas comfortably laid out and kitchen pans and pots sizzling or boiling with one thing or another. Lance huffed out to Hunk that the point of getting pizza for dinner was so that Hunk _wouldn’t_ have to cook, but truthfully, nobody could really find it in themselves to object too much. Hunk’s cooking was _amazing_ , and it was obvious that the man was quite proud of his skills, so if he wanted to show off and cook meals for his friends, who was any of them to complain?

“Alright, I’m choosing the movie!” Lance happily exclaimed as soon as he sat down and took hold of the controller. Everyone sans Shiro groaned at the prospect, Pidge muttering something about being sick of cheesy rom coms. The only thing Shiro had to be thankful for was the fact that he could trust Lance not to pick something overly morbid or violent, so at the very least he could look forward to not having to battle any nightmares once he headed home. He sat on the single armchair in the living room, comfortably cradling his cup of water and remembering to not tap his foot obnoxiously against the floor in impatience. He hoped it wasn’t too obvious that he was expecting for a certain someone to show up.

“Can it at least not be Princess Diaries again?” Matt whined and Pidge echoed the sentiment, which caused the three of them to bicker amongst themselves, Lance insisting they just didn’t appreciate a good, timeless comedy.

“Hey, if the movie issue can’t be resolved peacefully, then we’ll just have to vote on it.” Hunk voiced loudly from the kitchen. Matt and Pidge cheered in agreement at that while Lance merely pouted, grumbling to himself once more.

“Yeah well! Voting’s postponed until Keith gets here.” This made Shiro tense up, the mere mention of the man enough to have his stomach twist up in something like anticipation. 

“I don’t really remember Keith being the movie type, so maybe he won’t even care. What time did he say he’d get here?” Matt gave voice to Shiro’s concern, to which Shiro was silently grateful for. It was no secret that between all of them, Shiro had been the closest to Keith, and he had served as the main vehicle to how they all even managed to befriend Keith at all.

“Around now, actually. Maybe he got held up?” Lance offered, still setting up the Princess Diaries on the television despite the low protest that Pidge was giving him. Shiro could feel how a tangled ball of disappointment slowly dropped to his stomach. It didn’t seem like a big deal if Keith was a little late, but he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he wouldn’t show up at all. It was a bit irrational, and he had no reason to believe so, but once again, there was that nagging voice in his head spewing forth all of Shiro’s insecurities right in the middle of movie night with his friends, and he was kind of, sort of, maybe growing a bit anxious with it all. He needed to calm down lest he had an embarrassing episode. Just as soon as Shiro made to stand and excuse himself to the restroom, a knock made all of their heads whip to the front door. There was a beat of silence from all of them before they all heard Hunk yell ‘coming!’ along with following footsteps. The door was swiftly opened, and from Shiro’s point of view, all he could see was Hunk’s back covering the door frame, laughing merrily at the person from the other side and giving them a massive hug. A strained ‘oof!’ and a deep chuckle later, Hunk turned around and had his arm sprawled atop the shoulders of the one and only Keith, who looked only vaguely amused at his friend’s welcoming.

“Hey. Been a while.” Keith said passively, giving a small, but devastating smile to the group, at least in Shiro’s opinion. Shiro could only nebulously recall how everyone else stood and approached Keith whilst laughing and joking, his mind’s eye giving his best friend laser-focused attention. To say that Keith had changed was an understatement. His shaggy hair had grown out enough that it had been tied in a braid. He’d grown taller too, leaner and bulkier from the waist up, though he’d still retained a lankier build. There was a noticeable scar that ran across from his right cheekbone and disappeared below Keith’s jawline. That made Shiro unconsciously reach out to the bridge of his nose and tap lightly at his own scar, feeling how the near smooth surface would grow rugged as he neared the edges. 

“Yo, where the hell you’ve been man? What’s the big deal, disappearing on us like that?” Lance questioned, giving a light punch to Keith’s shoulder as the man in question shrugged him off.

“Just… some life stuff came up. Needed the space to deal with it all.” At the admission, Keith’s eyes swept across the room until they finally landed on Shiro, causing the older man to draw a sharp breath. Shiro smiled reflexively and stood up in faux calm, wanting to at least greet his old friend properly. _Relax, Shirogane, it’s just Keith_. But Shiro could feel how his ears were beginning to flush red and how his heartbeat was starting to spike in intensity, a reaction he hasn’t had since a very long time now. He had no time to properly analyze what it meant, though. As soon as he was close enough, he extended his flesh hand towards Keith for him to shake, but he was surprised when Keith merely stepped forward and hugged him instead. 

“Keith…” An immediate flood of affection took hold of Shiro then, Keith’s body a welcomed weight against his chest that soothed his heart. God, they hadn’t hugged in _so_ long…

“Keith, it’s so good to see you.” If Shiro could detect a hint of breathlessness and warmth in the tone of his own voice, he decided not to heed it any mind. Especially not when Keith merely hugged him tighter, pressing his face against him even more, forehead almost nuzzling against his shoulder.

“It’s been too long.” Keith murmured, the feel of his lips and warm breath on his shirt giving Shiro goosebumps along his arm. When Keith withdrew back a bit to stare up at him, Shiro couldn’t help but be mesmerized by those stunning purple eyes framed by pretty lashes. Were Keith’s eyes always so gorgeous?

“Sorry for not… keeping in touch. It’s a been a little…” Keith trailed off, eyes turning downcast and distant. His arms finally fell away from Shiro’s waist and he missed them already.

“Hey, it’s alright.” Shiro tried to reassure. Even though Shiro has always wondered about that, he never truly held it against Keith. And after everything that has happened to him, somewhere in the back of Shiro’s head, he was kind of glad that Keith had disappeared from his life when he did. He didn’t fully know how he would react if his best friend had to bear witness what a mangled monstrosity of a half-man Shiro had become after his military service.

“No, it’s… it’s not fine.” Keith’s expression turned serious, and although Shiro couldn’t say he was happy about that, it gave him a sense of familiarity all the same, of the way that Keith would often internalize his feelings and guilts, even back then. Some things never change, he supposes.

“Okay. We can talk about it later, if you want.” Shiro offered instead, easily falling back into his role of being a constant support for his best friend, as if nothing’s changed. It almost astonishes Shiro how seamless it is. It occurred to him in that moment that Keith was perhaps the only person he ever went out of his way for. Even when they were back in school, Shiro only ever did the things that were expected of him but nothing more. All he ever cared about were his dreams and, he realizes now, Keith. If Keith wants and wishes to rekindle that sort of friendship once again, Shiro feels as though he’d be more than happy to accept it. Finally, after so long, Shiro can feel lightness in his chest, and the ghost of his trauma isn’t so imposing anymore.

After that, the evening proceeded almost without a hitch, and for a couple of hours, Shiro felt like he was back in time, back to the days of easy laughter and company. The food had been delicious and whatever movie had been decided on had been left to play in the background, their conversations ultimately more important. Keith sat next to Shiro’s feet, practically glued to his side the whole time. There wasn’t an open chair or sofa that Keith could take, and Shiro had offered to give up his seat instead, but Keith had shrugged him off and insisted it was fine. 

“So, Keith” Hunk started, hand still cradling half a burrito, “Lance said you’re working at a car shop in town?”

“Oh, yeah. He caught me working the register.” He gave Lance a half devious smirk, flipping his braid over his shoulder. It was a gesture that did not go over Shiro’s notice, and for whatever reason it made him want to reach out and touch it.

“You had two blown tires, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.” Lance growled in annoyance, taking an angry sip from his cup.

“What did you even do? They were absolutely wrecked when I checked them out.”

“I didn’t see the traffic spikes, okay!? I backed up wrong and my tires got punctured!” Hunk and Pidge both busted out in laughter at Lance’s admission, and the following outburst that took place became a major highlight of the evening.

“How long has it been since you moved to town?” Shiro asked, resisting the urge to have his leg bump into Keith’s shoulder while they sat.

“Eh, around a month or so? Marmora’s only been open for that same amount of time, so I transferred there to keep an eye on things.”

“Oh, are you like a manager then?” At his words, Keith tilted his head to give Shiro a strange look, one that he couldn’t fully decipher right away. It was something like scrutiny, as if Keith was trying to gauge something out of Shiro’s face.

“… no, actually. I’m co-founder.” It was said with such a calm, almost dismissal tone that Shiro could have sworn he misheard. He turned silent, and it didn’t go by his notice how the rest of their friends were silent, too. Of course, eventually Lance was the fist to break the spell.

“Wait, wait, hang on a second. You’re the what now?” 

“Co-founder of Marmora’s Auto Services, yeah.”

“What the fuck? Are you joking?” Normally, Lance’s bug-eyed expression would be enough for everyone to find humorous, but it seemed like the shock hadn’t completely worn out, and Shiro couldn’t say that he didn’t get it.

“Why would I joke about that?” Keith didn’t seem at all fazed by what he just said, only looked to be mildly exasperated by Lance’s response to the news. 

“So wait, is this like, new? Didn’t the shop just open like a month ago?” Pidge injected.

“Marmora has other locations. The one downtown is the most recent one.” Keith shrugged and added, “I was working on a different shop back in Daibazaal before. Then we decided to expand again, and I transferred here.” Once again, all of this was being said in such a matter-of-fact way. Shiro had to make sure that his mouth wasn’t accidentally left hanging open. 

“Wow, Keith, that’s… that’s great. I’m glad things have been going great for you.” Shiro told him sincerely, albeit the surprise was still running through his veins. He did remember how, back in the day, Keith had expressed interest in motorcycles and cars, always wanted to own a motorcycle himself, even. He had no idea he would go on to pursue that interest so vehemently though, to the point that he was apparently co-founder of a car shop franchise. 

“Thanks, it’s not that big a deal. The opportunity just presented itself…” Again, Keith seemed surprisingly dodgy about the details of his past whereabouts, downplaying his accomplishments, as if being the co-founder of _anything_ was an obtainable goal anyone could achieve. 

“Well Mr. Co-Founder, I think this calls for a celebration, don’t you think?” Matt proclaimed mischievously, and soon enough, there were drinks being dispensed and celebratory cheers here and there. Shiro declined the drink due to the fact that he had to drive home, but he still patted Keith on the back in congratulations nonetheless, which earned him a soft, brilliant smile that slightly short-circuited his thought process for a few seconds. 

The get-together lasted well into the night, and by the time people were getting up to say their goodbyes, Shiro found himself loitering near the front door outside, antsy to talk to Keith a little more before he left. He was reluctant to say goodbye so soon, but Keith said something about having an early meeting the next day.

“Hey.” A warm, gentle hand settled on Shiro’s shoulder, and rather than flinching or turning rigid where he stood at the sudden contact, the touch merely made him feel tender. Shiro was glad that at least personal contact with Keith didn’t seem like it would be much of an issue. They had always been quite liberal with physical affection in the past, and he didn’t want that to change, regardless of his condition.

“Heading home?” Shiro inquired, zipping up his hoodie a little higher, the chill of the night starting to seep into his skin now.

“Yeah, but… I kind of wanted to talk with you some more.” The admission sounded a bit stilted and quiet, sort of shy if Shiro had to guess. He was elated in knowing he wasn’t the only one who was reluctant to part ways.

“Me too, Keith. I feel like there’s… so much I want to say to you.” Understatement of the century.

“Yeah. Same here.” Once again, Keith directed a look at Shiro that he was hard pressed to understand. _He’s so pretty under this streetlight_ , was the intrusive thought that wormed its way into his head, but Shiro ignored it. In the past, Shiro had no problems understanding Keith’s non-verbal cues and ticks, but he was at a loss this time.

“We could… I mean, I don’t know if you’re busy tomorrow or anything, but…” Keith looked away and kicked at the curb a bit, looking unsure. Shiro wanted to ask what he meant, his heart pounding, ready to agree to anything Keith wanted if only so they could hang out again. But Keith turned to him again quickly, his expression surer and set.

“You want to stay over tonight? Just… if you’re not too busy, I mean.” That… was not what Shiro had expected, to say the least. He stared at Keith for a good long minute almost, watching as the younger man fixed him with an unwavering stare, waiting for his answer. But apparently Shiro stalled for too long, for Keith soon turned away and chuckled, his tone coming out a little wooden.

“Sorry, that was weird. We’ve only just ran into each other.”

“No. I mean, I wasn’t expecting that, but…” Shiro didn’t know what to say. “I-I just don’t really have anything on me to stay the night, and…” _And I’m such hot mess right now, you’ll definitely figure out something’s wrong with me_ , was left unsaid. Now that he was facing the potential of actually being alone with Keith, his anxiety decided to act up, and almost out of reflex, Shiro tugged at his jacket’s sleeve and tried to discreetly pull it over the wrist and hand of his prosthetic. However, the gesture didn’t go past Keith’s ever watchful gaze, and his eyes immediately zoned in on the action. Shiro wasn’t stupid enough to think that Keith hadn’t noticed his arm throughout the whole night, but now that he was faced with unequivocal evidence of it, his breathing once again faltered in dread. He knew that Keith wanted to know, and it was obviously a conversation that needed to be had sooner or later, but god, he did not feel ready for it just yet. He doesn’t know how he’ll react if Keith decides to say something about it, he just can’t, he can’t, _hecan’t hecan’t-_

“Hey, Shiro?” Keith immediately invaded his senses and stood right in front of him, eyes wide in worry. He had his hands outstretched in front of Shiro, not quite touching him, more an offer if Shiro wanted it. Shiro hadn’t even realized he spaced out again in his panic.

“S-Sorry, sorry Keith, I’m…” Shiro covered his mouth and closed his eyes, trying in vain to calm the rushing of his blood in his ears. He could feel the cold sweat breaking out on his forehead and back of his neck. _Great_ , he hissed in his mind, _exactly what I fucking need right now, to fall apart in front of my best friend_.

“Can I help? Do you need anything?” Shiro merely shook his head and kept count of how many breaths he was taking in, hoping in vain that he wouldn’t collapse over this. It had been a while since he’s had a genuine panic attack like this, but it figures that as soon as he had an easy streak of good weeks, everything had to come crashing down on him. _Fuck_ , he sniveled in his head, _I hate this_.

“You wanna sit down? Or I can get Hunk and we can-” Once more Shiro shook his head, but this time he took Keith’s offered hand and squeezed it tight, feeling the warm fingers and callouses from hard work. Keith let him squeeze his hand and tentatively placed his other hand on Shiro’s shoulder, rubbing soothing little circles. This made Shiro gasp, but when Keith flinched, thinking he had done something he shouldn’t have, Shiro merely leaned back into the touch. This gave Keith pause, but soon enough the slight touch morphed into a full-on hug, and Shiro couldn’t bring himself to resist it.

“Better? Is it helping?” Shiro liked to believe it was. At the very least, he wasn’t shaking anymore. He was more than ready to curl himself into a ball right on the sidewalk and ride it out, trembling in shame as Keith watched him break down like a child. But he hadn’t collapsed, and Keith hadn’t cringed away from him at all, was instead holding him tight and soothing him with his soft hands. Shiro could feel tears welling in his eyes, but he didn’t want to cry, especially since there was nothing to cry about. He was fine, and Keith was here. _Keith was here_.

“Hey,” Keith almost whispered, his hot breath grazing Shiro’s neck gently, “it’s okay. I get it, alright? You’re not the only one…” It was Keith’s turn to squeeze Shiro’s hand.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I just want you to know. I get this. You don’t have to bottle it up or hide it from me, Shiro.” Keith’s weight was like an anchor, holding Shiro firm and steady where he stood. His heartbeat hasn’t slowed down, but at the very least it didn’t feel like his heart wanted to leap out of his throat along with the rest of his dinner. He couldn’t bring himself to reply though, not if he didn’t want some embarrassing sound to shoot out, or for dumb words to come out of his mouth, like _you’re so amazing_ or _I don’t deserve you_ or god forbid _just hold me like this forever, please_. 

Shiro was royally fucked.

\------  
It wasn’t too long after that episode that Shiro and Keith hung out again. They’ve had their conversations here and there, but Keith never insisted or pried, and Shiro was thankful for that. Nothing felt strained or forced, and Shiro was simply allowed to open up when he wanted to. They were hanging out in Shiro’s apartment when Keith fixed him with a pointed stare and said:

“I’m sorry I never kept in touch, Shiro.” It made Shiro stop in his tracks, the words dying in his throat about whatever it was they were talking about.

“I mean, not trying to blame myself here or anything, but… maybe if I had been there when you…” He gestured vaguely in the air, but Shiro got the gist of it. Either way, Keith was wrong.

“No. Keith, it’s not-”

“I was supposed to be your best friend.” Keith snapped suddenly, but immediately shut his mouth, realizing his tone. “I should’ve… I should’ve at least called you, let you know what I was… What I was going through. Explain myself.” Keith sighed then, running a nervous hand through his hair, fingers fiddling with the base of his own braid. Shiro wanted to run his hand through Keith’s hair too, but he stomped that want immediately.

“Don’t beat yourself up for it.” Shiro told him quietly, trying to be sympathetic all the same. “Trust me, it doesn’t really help.” He chuckled humorlessly, but Keith obviously wasn’t convinced, and instead he reached across Shiro’s shitty couch and placed a hand on his thigh, squeezing a bit. Shiro resisted the urge to shiver in appreciation to the touch.

“You want to know why I disappeared for so long?” Keith’s voice was low and a bit rough around the edges, like it was still a difficult subject to broach. It most likely was.

“Only if you want to tell me, Keith.” It only seemed fair to extend the same courtesy to Keith, who has been nothing but understanding on Shiro’s behalf. Keith nodded and took a deep and deliberate breath, his eyes straying to the floor.

“My dad… my dad almost died.” Shiro could almost feel how his throat dried up at the confession. He remembered Mr. Kogane, could picture him in his firefighter uniform, could see him in his memories with torn up jeans, a denim jacket and crooked smile. Shiro had never been close to the man exactly, but he had run into him a few times, and he always seemed to radiate that ‘cool dad’ energy that Lance would remark about.

“Oh, Keith. I had no idea.” Keith nodded and sighed again, leaning back a bit on the couch.

“Yeah, he got hurt pretty bad one time while on the job… the house was burning down and…” He cleared his throat for a bit, “He almost didn’t make it out. When they took him to the hospital, he fell into a coma. He didn’t wake up for seven months… the doctors wanted to give up on him but…” Shiro wasn’t sure if it was appropriate or not, but he very slowly reached across them and grabbed Keith’s hand. Immediately Keith’s fingers interlaced with his own, a pleasant sensation that Shiro could get addicted to if he wasn’t careful.

“But then my… my mom turned up.”

“What?” Shiro’s eyes widened at the revelation. That was another thing about Keith’s family situation that only Shiro had known about, that Keith’s mother had apparently vanished when he was born.

“Yeah, I know.” Keith gave him a wry smile, his thumb swiping back and forth on Shiro’s hold. “Wish you could’ve seen the look on my face when she just showed up at the hospital one day. Mom tells me it was hilarious.”

“Wh- that’s amazing, where has she been this whole time?” He was given the rundown, which basically involved government programs and espionage and things that Shiro has frankly only ever heard of in movies before, but Keith was so strait-laced and immutable as he spoke, there was no reason to believe otherwise. But it seemed to explain why Keith’s mother’s existence had been such a mystery up until this point and why Keith’s father could never truly give much detail about her or her whereabouts. 

“So your dad is back home with your mom, then?”

“Yeah. You know, she’s helping him get around and stuff. He has issues with his mobility because of a fucked up leg, but he’s fine. He’ll heal…” As soon as he said so, it was like Keith had deflated a bit, his shoulders slumping as if he was now allowed to breathe in for the first time. He looked tired and drained, but after a couple of seconds, he looked at Shiro again, his gaze softer than before.

“I was so terrified of losing him, Shiro. He was the only family I had, I just… That was the only thing I could focus on for so long.” Keith leaned into Shiro’s space, and Shiro immediately responded by pulling him close, letting his best friend burrow into his chest. Strong and lean arms snaked around Shiro’s torso and for a moment, he felt entirely whole and safe.

“I started working odd jobs just so I could pay for his medical bills. I ended up working at a car shop near home and that’s where I met Kolivan and the others.”

“Kolivan?”

“Yeah, he’s co-founder with me. I technically _wasn’t_ old enough to work at his place, but he gave me a chance.” Shiro got the impression that there was probably way more to it than that, but he felt like Keith had shared more than he had anticipated he would, so he didn’t pry for details.

“He really pulled me out of a tough spot there. I owe him a lot.”

“I’m glad, Keith. I wish I had been there for you.” Shiro couldn’t help but let his tone turn a bit drab and Keith obviously noticed but waved him off.

“It’s not your fault. I’m the one that cut you off. I know you would’ve tried to help if you could. I just…” He fell silent then, but it’s not like Shiro didn’t understand. Being in a shitty place for so long can warp your sense of self and priorities, and in Shiro’s case, he tried so desperately to climb back out of that hole, trying to prove to the world and to himself that he was _not_ useless, that despite everything, he was still self-sufficient and strong and _normal_ , damn it. He understood perfectly well not wanting to ask for help. But now that Keith had told him of his own hardships, a part of him wanted to hypocritically tell the other man that he didn’t have to go at it alone, that he had a perfectly capable best friend who would’ve more than understood and helped out. But Shiro kept silent and didn’t offer any more empty platitudes.

“Well, you’re here now. Going through your own issues too.” Keith gave Shiro’s prosthetic a side view, but Shiro understood and didn’t freak out about it. He flexed his metal fingers against Keith’s lower back, enjoying the way that he could do that and have Keith merely accept the touch. People were frequently wary of his hand and afraid to touch it or even look at it for too long for fear of offending him in some way, but more often than not, that just made Shiro more self-conscious of it. But Keith didn’t showcase any such reservations about it. He acknowledged Shiro’s arm without making it weird or invasive, and as soon as his curiosity was sated, he started to treat his arm like any other limb. Shiro _adored_ him for it. 

“Yeah, it’s… it’s been a rough couple of years.” He couldn’t help but express dryly, but he tried to tone it down for Keith’s sake. It wouldn’t be fair to dump all of his grievances on him.

“I bet. Hunk told me you work with him at his shop?”

“Yeah, just about the only place that I could apply to.” Every other job prospect had seen Shiro being turned down or otherwise ignored, and although those places hadn’t said why directly, he didn’t miss the way the interviewers would look at his nose scar or his prosthetic.

“I also drive people around with Uber whenever I can. Helps keep a roof over my head.” He shrugged, already having accepted his lot in life.

“Not nearly as impressive as co-founder, huh?” He hadn’t meant to make that sound so unpleasant, and he was already chastising himself for the way that Keith looked up at him with a frown.

“Hey, you had a ton of shit thrown at you, Shiro. No one is judging you for that.” _No, but I’m judging myself_ , is what he refused to say out loud.

“You’re getting by, just like everyone else. I’m definitely not one to talk.” There was a shift in Keith’s body, one that brushed against the inside of Shiro’s thighs just a bit too firmly. A shiver ran down his spine, but Shiro refused to acknowledge it or give it a name.

“I didn’t… always have my shit together, either. I was a fucking mess, actually.” Keith grew a bit stiff at the confession, and Shiro panicked upon noticing that Keith made to want to move away, so he pressed him closer, letting his friend rest his head on his shoulder. _What am I doing?_ He knew this could be misconstrued as something else entirely, but Keith wasn’t complaining, and Shiro didn’t want to stop. The weight of Keith, his company, his body heat, everything was great, yet not nearly enough. Shiro would never describe himself as being needy, but that’s what he felt like at the moment.

“Hey, you had every right to be.” Shiro nearly breathed into the other’s hair, his mind growing a bit fuzzy when he breathed in his scent.

“Yeah, I guess. But that’s what I’m saying.” He wasn’t allowed to moon anymore as Keith lifted his head and stared straight at him, a new sort of emotion settling on his face. If Shiro were anyone else, he would probably describe that expression as frustrated and unsettled, but that wasn’t quite right. Keith was looking straight at him, and his eyes once again twinkled with intent, eerie purple stars that made Shiro want to do something stupid.

“What happened to you was fucked up, too. But you’re still here.” Keith very deliberately lifted up his arm and draped it across Shiro’s shoulders, inadvertently cradling the back of Shiro’s neck and head. Shiro’s breath grew a bit choppy, and startingly, Keith moved his face even closer.

“I found you.” Keith’s breath smelled like the takeout they had eaten before. He was _so_ close…

“You did.” Shiro nodded, and because he’s a masochist, he shifted his body a bit so Keith could settle against him even further. They were straight up cuddling on the couch at this point, and even though something was screaming in anxiety and worry in the back of Shiro’s skull, he found that he could couldn’t bring himself to break their hold. His body was pliant and warm, craving the touch of his best friend in a way that shouldn’t be proper, but it just felt… right.

“I don’t want us to grow apart again, Shiro. I _missed_ you so much.” There was something so fragile and tense in that one confession. It made Shiro’s mouth grow dry, a beating in his chest beginning to manifest and thump loudly against his rib cage.

“Me too.” Shiro wasn’t conscious of the way he licked his lips. “I’m so happy you’re here.” _With me_ , was what he couldn’t bring himself to say, but he had no idea why. For a few tormenting seconds neither of them said anything more, but then Keith lifted one of his hands and lightly traced his thumb just under Shiro’s bottom lip, the touch so feather-light it almost wasn’t there. Keith kept looking at him quietly, assessing Shiro, verifying his every twitch and movement, but Shiro just sat there and said nothing. He didn’t want to break the spell, he didn’t want Keith to stop, no matter what. He was waiting for something, something tangible, something that proved to him that he wasn’t reading too much into anything.

“Shiro”, he straight up heard himself _whimper_ at the way Keith uttered his name, so soft and loving, and then he whimpered again when the younger man reacted and pressed his lips against his own. The first kiss was quick and merely a peck, but when Keith retracted just to give Shiro a bewildered expression, he dove in again with more intent, grasping Shiro’s shoulders firmly, molding their bodies chest to chest. Shiro was overcome in the best way possible, his body reacting favorably to this touch, receiving the sort of input he hadn’t allowed himself to have for various trauma-related reasons. It had been literal years since the last time. Keith was all soft curves and sharp intent, his mouth enveloping his own in a flurry of kisses and puffs of breath, as if he couldn’t get enough of Shiro, as if he was thirsty and hungry for him at the same time. It got intense very quickly, but that was honestly nothing new with Keith. He always did everything with passion and conviction, devoted his entire person to the things that he believed in. And now he was apparently doing the same for Shiro.

“Fuck”, was whispered roughly against Shiro’s lips, and soon enough, he was pushed onto his back quite swiftly. Shiro felt hot and vulnerable all over, clinging desperately to the back of Keith’s shirt. Typically speaking, he generally wasn’t the one in this position. When you look a certain way, people tend to have these expectations of you, so his previous lovers were never the type to take charge. His ex Adam had indulged him a few times, but it was clear what his preference had been, and Shiro hadn’t really minded that much. So, to suddenly find himself like this, with Keith bracketing him with his arms, it was as thrilling as it was terrifying. 

“Shouldn’t we talk about this…?” He couldn’t help but say, some part of him thinking that this was still too good to be true. Surely Keith didn’t actually want this from him. Surely, _surely_ , Keith can do much better than a man that was so beaten down, he was hardly recognizable. Surely…

“Is that what you really want?” Keith leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, his tone rough in a way that Shiro had never heard it be before. “We can. We can stop and talk first, but Shiro…” A palm gently cupped Shiro’s cheek, making sure he was staring directly at Keith, truly paying attention to his every word. All it really made Shiro do was grow even warmer under his skin, Keith’s touch like a hot iron brandishing him.

“I want this. I want this with you so bad, I’ve wanted it since we went to school together.” Something ruptured inside of Shiro, a warm flood of bewilderment and excitement washing over him like a tidal wave. _Years_. Keith has been attracted to him for years, and he didn’t even notice it. This beautiful boy in front of him has been after his affections for so long, and he _still_ wanted Shiro, after all this time. 

“Keith”, the name just punched out of him without his control, one of his hands gripping that slender waist.

“Is that okay?” It was asked so carefully, but Shiro didn’t want to think twice. He couldn’t let his brain catch up with him again, lest he stalled and came up with a million imaginary reasons why he shouldn’t. So he nodded instead, and swallowed back an anguished scream of uncertainty and anxiety. At last, Keith gave a small smile to him and quickly divested himself of his jacket, letting it drop carelessly to the floor. He moved with purpose, accommodating their bodies until Shiro was perfectly situated and Keith was between his open knees, crotches grinding every so often. This made Shiro arch his back a bit, the contact sending electricity down his spine. It really had been far too long.

“Relax…” Keith soothed him, probably sensing how pent up he already was, and Shiro couldn’t help but flush at his own reactions. He knew better than to think that Keith would ridicule him for being out of his element here, but still. It was practically in his nature by now to be self-conscious about the things that he was less than competent at. He huffed and bit at his lower lip, trying to shut away the voices of his insecurities, but then, soft fingertips began to caress the crease in his eyebrows. Shiro looked up and noticed Keith staring at him.

“I can hear you thinking from over here.” It was supposed to be a slight tease, and it effectively helped diffuse the tension in Shiro’s spine a bit. Shiro chuckled.

“Sorry. Just… kind of hard to get my brain to shut up sometimes.”

“I know. It’s fine.” There were fingertips slowly tracing the length of Shiro’s chest, dragging down and along the contours of his muscles and ribs, and it made him shiver and tremble. “I just want you to focus on me. Everything’s going to be fine. You’re so perfect… So perfect for me.” Keith almost cooed, his voice turning lower and lower until it hit a timbre that Shiro had never heard before. It was rough and almost gravelly, a type of resonance that sent vibrations across the expanse of his lungs. The compliment also made something unexpected light up inside him, and a new type of warmth settling in his belly. He grunted and unconsciously bared his neck some more. Another kiss was swiftly given, this time with a hint of bite and strength, but Shiro still got the impression that Keith was holding back a bit, trying to gauge just how far and rough he could truly be before he made him uncomfortable. It was the sort of understated and silent consideration that Shiro loved from Keith. Soon though, a tongue was worming its way inside Shiro’s mouth until he finally granted access, enjoying the wet press and the slight pressure of teeth on his lips. Everything was turning into molten heat, hot breaths puffing out and warming their faces. 

“Fuck”, was muttered once more, Keith’s tongue darting out and licking a long stripe from Shiro’s chin to his collarbone, saliva leaving a hot-cold trail in its wake. Shiro moaned and arched against Keith’s body once more, their crotches pressing together again by the action, which made Keith growl and grind his hips into him on purpose.

“Yeah? Like that?” He grinded again, pulling a delighted groan from Shiro, who now took hold of Keith’s hips, encouraging him to keep going. “God, you feel so good. So hard for me already.” That same flood of delightful endorphins coursed through Shiro’s veins, filling him with even more eagerness and yearning, his body turning to mush under Keith’s hands. He could feel himself throbbing in his pants, pleasurably painful and eager for his clothes to just disappear already.

“Keith”, he sighed desperately, one of his legs hooking behind Keith’s own, trying to pull him even closer if possible. He lifted his arms and enveloped Keith’s back with them, pulling the man closer, trying to chase his mouth. Keith chuckled but reciprocated nonetheless, running his fingers into Shiro’s white fringe, the sensation so soothing and wonderful, Shiro felt like he wanted to cry. He felt… wanted, after so long. He pretty much melted on the spot, the urge to remain solid and firm draining out of him, his limbs becoming loose and pliant.

“That’s it”, Keith murmured in delight, “just let me take care of you, baby. Good boy.” Shiro could feel his face and ears flush with heat, gasping at Keith’s tone and words. _Shit…_ he really enjoyed that. He groaned again sharply when Keith snuck a hand down and cupped his front, hand pressing deliciously against his cock.

“You like that?” Figures that Keith would catch on quickly. “Like hearing what a good boy you are?” _Oh fuck_. Holy shit, Shiro couldn’t breathe, couldn’t concentrate on anything else. He merely sprawled on the couch as much as he could, letting one of his legs drop to the side just so Keith could have even more room to work with, so he could twitch and ground up against that delicious hand. 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Shiro”, Keith pressed and rubbed and teased again and again, violet eyes boring holes into his very soul, dragging him to completion, as if he had any say on the matter. “I’m gonna treat you so right.”

“Please” he begged, though he wasn’t entirely sure what he was begging for. A little bit of everything, if he had to guess. Maybe it was just that, the promise of Keith taking care of him. The Shiro from a week ago would have scoffed at the thought of anyone caring for him, would have shunned the very idea that he needed anyone to do so. But coming from Keith, it was… it was tempting. He _wanted_ that.

“That’s it, baby”, he shuddered when the words were whispered right into his ear, and then he yelped when teeth bit down on his earlobe. “Let it happen.”

“Keith, Keith, I fucking need-” He gulped and gasped at the heat pooling in his balls, ready to shoot, but there was something that he needed more of. Shiro felt prickly and itchy all over, the button of his jeans digging uncomfortably now. He reached out for it, blindly pawing at his own zipper when Keith batted him away, doing it for him.

“Let me” Was almost growled, and it sent arousal shooting straight through Shiro, who merely sprawled again, sighing in approval once his pants were undone. He moaned in want as soon as Keith’s palm came into contact with his hot flesh, his hips thrusting forward, seeking friction and movement.

“Fuck, you’re so thick” Keith revered, a gratified smile on his face as he pumped Shiro within an inch of his life. “Bet this thing could split me apart.” 

“Shit Keith, _fuck_!” Now that was an image that he didn’t even know he needed, but now that it was presented to him, he almost howled at the possibilities invading his head. Keith chuckled at his reaction, clearly reading his mind.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Want to see me taking you real good?” The glide of Keith’s hand on his cock was smoother now, sloppy with Shiro’s pre and making obscene noises in the quiet of his living room. “Maybe if you behave…” Was uttered sinisterly, causing Shiro to whimper more, his hips unable to stop chasing after that pleasurable haze. He was trying to establish a rhythm with Keith’s hand, the couch squeaking with their movements. 

“Shiro…” Everything was too much and not enough, and if Keith kept on looking at him like he was the world’s biggest feast, Shiro might just die on the spot. 

“Come on baby, just like that” Keith encouraged, the delicious friction on his pent-up cock turning more and more erratic until he finally reached the bursting point, arching his back due to the intensity of his orgasm. Warmth immediately splashed and spread on his lower stomach, seeping through his shirt and smearing around, his mess even spreading down to the hem of his underwear. 

“That’s it, good boy…” Keith kept soothing him, still idly stroking his length, milking him dry until he began to gasp due to the over-attention. Shiro merely laid there for a few moments, still trying to catch his breath, trying to ignore the sticky feeling down south and the way his shirt clung uncomfortably to his body because of his sweat. Yeah, a shower sounded amazing just about now. His body was comfortably numb with the aftereffects of orgasm, a state which he frankly hadn’t felt in a while, even when just taking care of himself. He did it so quickly nowadays, he never really gave himself time to enjoy it. Soon there was a warm hand cupping and caressing his face gently, and he realized that he had closed his eyes at some point. Keith looked divine, just staring down on him with a soft look in his gaze and a happy grin.

“Hey there. You okay?” Shiro nodded, not really knowing what else to say, and not wanting to, either. Not yet. This was nice. He was sated and strangely exhausted, but this was still nice. He felt Keith take his flesh hand and place tiny kisses all over his palm and the back of it, a small but precious gesture that made Shiro let out an involuntary clipped breath. When Keith did it again with his prosthetic, Shiro swore he could feel his eyes fill up with tears.

“It’s alright. Let me take care of you, okay?” He was kissed on the lips over and over again, embraced so tightly that he could even feel his heart squeeze. Keith kept saying against his mouth:

“I’m going to take care of you so good, Shiro. So good.”

Shiro prayed that his brain will just let him enjoy that nice thought. He didn’t want to self-sabotage again, not with Keith. He wouldn’t survive it. Not this time.

\------  
“I want you to come live with me.” 

That was not at _all_ what he expected Keith would say when he asked Shiro to visit for dinner that day. They’ve been going steady for a good two months now, their relationship going pretty great and advancing rapidly fast, at least in Lance’s opinion anyway. But honestly, Shiro and Keith were so naturally wired to understanding each other’s quirks and non-verbal cues, it didn’t feel like this relationship was new at all. It feels like they’ve known each other forever, really, and their time apart didn’t really seem to put a damper on that feeling.

“Uh… That came out of nowhere.” Shiro joked as he chewed, fighting the urge to bat at his food with his fork. Things were… good for the most part, but it’s not as though his mental issues have magically disappeared overnight. Shiro didn’t really think that he’d be terribly good company most days and meeting up with Keith regularly was good all on its own. He knew himself well enough to know his habits and coping mechanisms, and he didn’t think it would be fair to dump all of that on Keith. He knew Keith probably wouldn’t mind, he knew in his heart he wouldn’t, but the last thing he wanted was for his boyfriend to think that he had to shoulder Shiro’s burdens. He’d do it if Shiro let him, but he would never let him.

“Maybe, but… You like my place, right?” Keith asked, and Shiro resisted the urge to shake his head in disbelief. _Of course_ he liked it. Keith’s apartment was probably the most gorgeous thing Shiro’s ever seen, practically a suite that overlooked Altea’s National Juniberry Park, and beyond that, near the horizon, a peek of the ocean. It made Shiro’s crappy apartment look like a closet in comparison. Being co-owner of a successful franchise had a ton of perks, as it turns out.

“I do. But… don’t you think it’s a little soon for us to settle together?”

“Personally? No.” Keith responded, blunt as ever. “But I don’t want to rush you. I just want you to be here with me.” A hand reached out across the table and grasped Shiro’s own.

“I… want that too. But…” It was difficult to bring up like always, but his therapist insisted that if he wanted the chance to make things with Keith work out, he needed to get used to opening up and being honest. Easier said than done, though.

“But?” Keith leaned in a bit closer, looking casually gorgeous in his wide collared henley. 

“I just think that it might be too soon still? I mean, everything’s been easy and all, but you never know, what if…” It was hard to stomp his voice down, but once again, his anxiety spoke before his brain could catch up with him. “What if this thing between us doesn’t work out…?”

“Why wouldn’t it?” Once again, Keith was all fire and determination, fixing Shiro with a stubborn look that he hasn’t seen since high school. “If we want to be together, then that’s what will happen. Do… you want this to work out?”

“Yes.” For once, Shiro was grateful that he sounded confident and meant it.

“Then that’s not even a worry for me. Come on.” Gentle knuckles caressed Shiro’s jaw and cheek, Keith trying to gauge something out of his expression.

“Tell me what’s really bothering you.” It figures that Keith would see right through to him, always so alarmingly cognizant of Shiro’s mood and emotions. He gulped and could feel his pulse raising with the urge to evade and duck out of sight. But he toughened up and told himself that Keith wasn’t going to judge him. He was safe here, he could speak.

“Well, I… might have a bit of a hang up with sharing space.” He gripped Keith’s hand in his tighter still. “It’s not your fault. I just have weird mood crashes and bouts of self-isolation. I don’t… want to be a bother when I get like that.” He could feel himself trembling a bit at the confession, shame crawling up his throat and making his eyes sting and water. The only other person that he has ever told this to had been his therapist, and honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that they were legally obligated to keep this type of information confidential, not even his therapist would have known. It’s such a blatantly weak part of his body, he hated it. It was one of those things that he just couldn’t chase away, no matter how much medication he swallowed or how many bench-presses he did in a day. Keith had witnessed that one small episode of him freaking out, but honestly, that was minor. Shiro could get a lot worse, and he has, and he was terrified that Keith would be on the other end of one of his panic attacks. He could better deal with the damage and residuals by himself, when he was alone, and no one had to bear witness to this side of him that he loathed. 

“Hey, Shiro, it’s okay.” He hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath and encasing his fork with his metal hand in a death grip. “You’re alright, sweetheart.” Slowly he began to breathe out and loosen his stiff muscles, encouraged and warmed by Keith’s precious voice. _God_ , he didn’t deserve this man.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. But listen to me Shiro, if you think for a second that I have a problem with your mental issues, I want you to know that you’re wrong.” His face was lovingly grasped in Keith’s hands, thumbs swiping up and down his cheekbones.

“I’m ready to deal with it along with you, Shiro. I’ll give you as much support and space as you need.” He wanted to cry, he really did. But a part of Shiro expected this outcome somehow. Shiro had only to give Keith’s dad a single glance to understand where that endless compassion and understanding had come from. Mr. Kogane seemed fine on the surface, needing only a cane to get around whilst his leg properly healed from the damage it received, but Shiro knew that the physical damage done in traumatic circumstances was never the full story. Keith hadn’t mentioned too much for the sake of his father’s privacy, but the bits and pieces were enough for Shiro to get the full picture. The frustration, the guilt, the understanding that life could never go back to what it used to be. Shiro understood it all. And here was Keith, yet again offering unconditional help and support, for no other reason than because he wanted to do it. 

“Shiro, baby…” The tears were falling now, his throat was tight, and his lungs seized because he refused to cry out. He was so ashamed, but also so absurdly happy.

“Just let me be there for you. Please.” All Shiro could do was nod, letting his boyfriend stand from his chair and engulf him in the sweetest kiss he’s ever received. Palms were quickly dragging and mapping the expanse of Shiro’s back, the kiss turning a bit demanding. This hadn’t been the outcome that he had planned in his head, but right now, he was willing to take it if that’s what Keith wanted. He just needed to stop thinking for a while, push away his thoughts before his brain could torment him even more. And Keith was always the balm that soothed away Shiro’s soul.

The two of them slowly made their way through the apartment and into Keith’s room, which was huge and comfy, but only furnished with the essentials, Keith not being a man to splurge, even though he had the means to do so. When Shiro’s back hit the bed, he was overcome with a fluttering feeling in his stomach and lungs. He knew what was going to happen now, and even though he was excited for it, he was dreading it all the same.

“What’s the matter?” Keith muttered into his temple, his body a comforting weight. “Tell me, sweetheart. It’s alright.” He was peppered with reassurances and gentle touches, so Shiro found it in himself to respond.

“I… My body is…” He stuttered, but Keith’s patient smile encouraged him to keep going. “I have a lot of scars. From… you know.” He received a nod and a gesture to continue. “It’s worse in the front, where my prosthetic is. It can be… a lot. To take in.” There. It was out now, and if Keith considered that too much of a turn off, then he would at least be informed, and they could do other things instead. Or hell, Shiro wouldn’t mind just keeping his shirt on. But Keith merely leaned forward and touched his forehead with his own, his hands palming and stroking his pecs, brushing against his nipples in alluring strokes.

“You won’t scare me away, Shiro. It’s you. I’ll always love everything about you.” His breath hitched, an emotion he couldn’t describe getting stuck in his throat and coming out as a half-sob instead. God, he wanted to believe that so much. But this was one of his biggest insecurities, the defining factor on why most of his wardrobe consisted of hoodies, jackets and long-sleeved everything. The prosthetic was bad enough, and the scars were just the cherry on top. 

“Shhh…” His pants were slowly being pushed down and away from his legs. “I think you’re fucking gorgeous, Shiro. I’ll always think that.” 

“Keith, wait-” Terror spiked in his heart when his shirt was being pushed up, and already you could see the mismatched stripes of his skin, growing in concentration the further Keith revealed his abdomen and navel. The hand stopped.

“Shiro” Keith looked at him dead in the eye, determined but adamant in respecting Shiro’s autonomy. “If you don’t want me to look, that’s fine.” Shiro could tell that Keith wanted to, though. He was trying to prove something, but Shiro wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. How could anyone look at his skin and not recoil in disgust? God knows Shiro has in the past.

“I…” He wanted to trust Keith above everything else, but he was so scared of the possible rejection. He would break, he knows he would. But so far all he’s done is take chances with this relationship. Trusting Keith has never been an issue before. He had to trust him, he _had_ to. Shiro nodded and closed his eyes, the darkness providing a bit of comfort and respite.

“Okay.” Keith said and shuffled lower, sneaking both his hands under Shiro’s shirt, his palms pressing warmth on his skin. “Let me know if it’s too much.” At least he could find solace that Keith was more than willing to back off if need be. Fingertips roamed and pressed on every nook and valley of Shiro’s stomach, sending pleasant shudders and breathy sighs every so often. Meanwhile, Keith’s lips would nip and nibble, pulling even more sounds from Shiro, certain that a few of those nips would be leaving little marks behind. But that was fine. Perhaps he might even enjoy seeing them the next time he showered. 

Slowly, articles of clothing were beginning to be discarded and tossed away, the room filling with the sounds of their breathing and enjoyment. When Keith silently asked for permission, Shiro was sufficiently relaxed enough to nod and allow for his shirt to be lifted as well. Keith was careful and reassuring, and after a few painful seconds, Shiro was as naked as the day he was born, out in full display. It was even more intense than their little quickie on the couch, but at least this time he was blessed with the view of Keith being in the same state as him. Keith was all graceful curves and sharp jaw, his body looking so soft and perfect under the light of the bedroom. Curiously, Shiro also noticed a jagged scar on top of Keith’s shoulder, something that he hadn’t known about. He wondered if Keith got it at the same time as his cheek scar. 

“Still okay?” Shiro grunted in approval. “Good. I want you to feel amazing, baby.” He already was in a way. It calmed him, to know that Keith clearly liked what he was seeing, even though the right side of his body was itching and burning with the evidence of his trauma. Shiro resisted the urge to flip to his side and remained still, wondering what Keith would do next. For a moment, it seemed like Keith was content to just watch him, and Shiro took this time to return the favor and do the same, his mouth watering embarrassingly when he followed the patch of dark curls down Keith’s navel. A shapely and decently sized cock was awaiting him, fully hard and clearly in need of some attention, of which Shiro would be more than happy to give. His own dick twitched in want, smearing pre across the junction of his hip and thigh. Keith breathed out a small chuckle, his hand pressing deliciously on the length of Shiro’s cock. Shiro grunted at the pressure.

“Eager” Shiro had no witty comeback to that, for as soon as he opened his mouth, all that came out was a ragged moan when Keith started to jerk him off, his grip steady.

“Good boy” Keith leaned down on his chest, his lips hovering over Shiro’s shoulder. His right shoulder. “Love seeing you fall apart for me, baby.” Whilst one hand continued to stroke Shiro, Keith used his free arm to cradle the back of his head, his fingers scratching at his buzzed cut, soothing him. Shiro shuddered and leaned further back towards the touch, his mind growing fuzzy and quiet for once. And then he felt lips press against the scar tissue on his shoulder, the touch tracing lower on his bicep and triceps, until eventually Keith’s lips were skirting on the edges of his prosthetic, where the skin damage was worst. Shiro tried not to freak out, but he couldn’t help the involuntary movement of his arm and how it twitched away, an unfortunate reflex. Keith said nothing about his response, merely hummed soothingly, but seeing as Keith hadn’t flinched away or reacted poorly, Shiro coaxed himself to relax again. 

“I’ve got you, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” Shiro felt a warm hand settle on the center of his chest, and it was grounding. Keith just kept kissing his scars, tracing every ugly blemish and raised tissue, from the inside of his bicep to his ribs, showering the right side of his body with so much affection and love. It made him whine and shudder, goosebumps raising on his skin at the very real actions happening right now. Eventually Keith stopped to look at him with the softest look in his eyes, finger trailing down Shiro’s body, coursing through his happy trail, his dick and scrotum until they dove even farther back, nudging precariously towards his hole. Shiro jerked at the action and moaned, delighted and terrified at the same time.

“Stay still for me.” He gave Shiro a devilish smirk, crawling downwards until his face was at eye level with Shiro’s crotch. “I need to treat my doll like he deserves.” Another shudder at the nickname, this time accompanied by a violent flush of blood on his face, and his dick twitching traitorously. Keith laughed at his reaction, his voice sweet and playful, and he even kissed Shiro’s cock, the cheeky bastard. Just as Shiro thought he knew what Keith was planning for him, his brain went through a major meltdown when, instead, he felt hot moisture and a soft muscle pressing against his asshole.

“Fuck!” He shouted in alarm and pleasure, his hands gripping the sheets beneath him. Holy _fucking_ shit, he was not expecting that. Keith raised his head for a bit to say:

“Don’t struggle, babe. Just let yourself go.” Shiro took several deep breaths, attempting to calm his raging heart, but that was sort of impossible when he had the world’s most gorgeous man between his legs, attempting to suck the life out of him, literally. Keith pushed his thighs up and apart, trying to have as much comfortable access as he could, and all Shiro could do was brace himself against the onslaught of pleasure currently shooting electricity up his spine. He could feel the warm muscle of Keith’s tongue circling and prodding at his hole, smearing warm saliva everywhere.

“Shit, Keith, baby, it’s so good.” He wanted so badly to jerk himself off right now, but at the same time he didn’t want this to be over so soon. Keith’s mouth was divine, and frankly, Shiro doesn’t recall the last time anyone ever did this for him. Adam certainly didn’t. He let his legs open up even more and he tentatively reached out his flesh hand towards Keith’s hair, brushing his fingers through it. He couldn’t really see Keith’s expression from this angle, but when Keith hummed his approval (making Shiro’s eyes almost roll to the back of his head), he took it as a good sign and kept doing it. At first he enjoyed just holding Keith close to him, moaning his approval at every little thing his tongue would do, but after a particularly good swipe, he jerked his hips up and accidently pulled Keith’s hair towards himself. Shiro gasped and let go, an apology at the tip of his tongue already, but Keith merely chased after his wrist and placed his hand back on his head.

“It’s good?” Fuck, Keith’s voice sounded so sultry with arousal. “You can grind on my face, puppy, I don’t mind.” Holy _shit_. He tightened his hold on Keith’s hair and pulled him once more, moaning in delight when Keith chuckled against his asshole, feeling him give a smooch to it, embarrassingly enough.

“Don’t stop Keith, please, don’t.” He had no choice but to beg, his higher functions all but dying on him, his dick pretty much taking command and leading the way now. His thighs trembled and his hips would occasionally grind up and down Keith’s mouth, not missing the way his boyfriend would hum and groan in pleasure, taking as much enjoyment out of this as Shiro was. He had no idea if it was possible to come just from this, but shit, this felt pretty close. He almost collapsed when Keith, the little fucker, decided to introduce teeth into the mix, carefully nipping around the inside of his thighs, getting dangerously close to his very sensitive hole, until eventually a rogue bite made him yell again, his cock drooling pre at an alarming rate. He was so turned on and so horny, he had no idea what to do with himself. Keith was going to literally drive him insane.

“Keith, _Keith_ , I want to come Keith, let me, just let-” He arched off the bed when Keith’s tongue straight up _slipped inside of him_ , prodding his inner walls thoroughly. Shiro couldn’t breathe properly anymore, could only feel his stomach clenching, as if bracing itself for something. He could feel Keith’s nose nudging at his balls and perineum, trying so hard to reach inside of him with just his tongue. Shiro’s toes were curling and uncurling against the mattress, drowning in all the pleasure, his boyfriend setting him alight with his filthy fun. When it became apparent that he couldn’t hold out another second, Shiro caved in and began fisting his own cock, shuddering and moaning whilst pressing his ass even more against Keith’s face, trying to reach his peak before he broke. 

And then everything stopped.

Shiro almost sobbed in pain when that glorious mouth went away and his wrist had been snatched. He felt completely bereft as he laid spread legged, his dick dribbling with want and his hole clenching around nothing, missing the presence of something inside him already. Keith stood on his knees and crawled closer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, a wicked smirk tainting his face. For whatever reason that served to only turn Shiro on even more, so he groaned when Keith got closer, already dying in anticipation.

“You ready for me, puppy?”

“Yes” Shiro groaned yet again, the shame flying out the window as he purposefully spread his legs open, wanting to bring attention to the one place that needed Keith the most. There was a small interlude as Keith quickly reached across his bed and retrieved some stuff from his drawer, but thankfully it was a quick affair, and soon enough, Shiro was hissing at the feel of lukewarm lube coating his ass and being spread liberally around. Keith didn’t waste any time pushing his inside fingers, what with Shiro being so pliant underneath him.

“You feel so good, baby, I can’t believe what a good boy you’ve been for me.” Keith moaned, his other hand making good work on his own dick, and Shiro was left with the craving of wanting to stick that cock in his mouth and worship it like it deserved. But he could be content with the knowledge that soon he would be impaled by that same cock in just a few seconds. He clenched at that thought and Keith grinned again.

“Stay still, babe.” There was a tense moment of Keith lining himself up, the blunt head of his dick teasing Shiro’s hole. “Bet you’re gonna suck me in real good.”

“Keith, please baby, please.”

“Shhh.” In a very gentle motion, Keith was soon sinking deep, both men huffing and moaning in pure pleasure at the feeling it gave them. As soon as Keith was seated all the way balls deep, Shiro reached out and threw an arm across his boyfriend’s shoulders, tugging him closer until their lips could meet in a passionate kiss. Everything had been so perfect, just perfect, and now Keith was going to fuck him silly and he had to swallow down the urge to thrill in anticipation.

“You’re so tight for me, puppy. So excited.” The last word was punctuated with a thrust, one that took Shiro by surprise a little bit, but he moaned and encased Keith’s hips with his thighs.

“You can… You can move.” He told Keith, impatience rearing its head. He squeezed until Keith gave a clipped growl, hips twitching.

“Please, please, move!” Keith bit at his lower lip but did as he begged, thrusting quickly and deep, ripping delicious moans out of Shiro, who was drowning in a mixture of lust and pain at the same time. Keith looked divine on top of him, his expression open and honest, the pleasure clear as day on his face. His braid had come mostly loose at some point and his long hair was cascading down his shoulders, draping over Shiro’s head like a curtain. Shiro panted and engulfed his lover in a fierce hug, grunting along with him.

“Look at you” Keith kept talking all throughout, taking a tight hold on Shiro’s hips whilst he fucked him. “So hungry for it, you’re just taking me so far in.” The room was filled with the sounds of the bed frame creaking and the _slap-slap-slaps_ of their fucking. At some point, Keith had found the ideal angle to hit Shiro’s prostate, so now it was race of who could get the other to break first. Shiro was only marginally aware that his fingernails were scraping against Keith’s back, but he had no mental energy to spare on that, so he could only hope that he didn’t make Keith bleed. But judging by the look of pure pleasure and concentration on his face, Keith didn’t seem at all bothered. 

“Fuck, you’re so amazing!” It punched out of Keith’s mouth, his movements erratic and desperate now, voice shaky. “My cute little puppy, so good for me, so good!” Shiro clenched again and shouted, his arms shooting down and grabbing handfuls of Keith’s ass, pulling him forward with every thrust.

“Harder! Keith please, harder, _harder_ -”

“Fuck. Yes. _Yes!_ ” Every word was followed by a breathless thrust, the heat and sweat making their skin sticky. Everything down south was on fire, but Keith was relentless, his incredible stamina giving Shiro a run for his money.

“Do it, puppy, come. Come on my fucking cock right now.” Keith practically snarled and Shiro didn’t know if the request was a threat or not, but he didn’t care to know. He bit his lower lip and whined, the edges of his vision fading away, and only Keith was present in his tunnel vision, all beauty and deep, deep purple eyes. The pressure in his stomach unraveled and he shouted at the top of his lungs, shooting across his own torso, his dick twitching and jumping, completely untouched by either of their hands. 

“Fucking gorgeous.” Keith slurred and panted, his own hips still pumping into Shiro, desperate to reach that same state of ecstasy. Shiro clenched and attempted to help, swallowing Keith’s moans and groans with his mouth, encouraging him to finish up.

“Come inside me, please, please.” He was still very sensitive and overstimulated, but watching Keith completely lose it and use his pliant body however he wanted was worth it, especially when he eventually caved into his demand and effectively spent every last drop inside. Shiro whined when he felt the cock inside him grow suddenly stiff, twitching and pulsating with cum. He could feel the slick moisture coating his insides and dripping from his asshole, the sensation satisfying and, strangely enough, addicting. Oh yeah, he could totally see himself getting used to being treated like this on a near daily basis.

“Hmm… you alright, doll?” Keith asked, his words muffled by Shiro’s shoulder, making Shiro chuckle giddily.

“Yes… never better.” Shiro felt how Keith’s arm crept to the side of the bed so he could take hold of his hand. His metal hand.

“Good. I’m glad.” Keith was still mostly sprawled on top of Shiro, his expression a tired but satisfied one. “I love you so much, Shiro. I want to make you feel amazing all the time. You deserve that.” A gentle kiss was pressed to the side of Shiro’s mouth.

“I want you to always know that.”

Shiro knew that there will be struggles of that nature in the near future. Nothing would magically fix him or make him better. But still, if there was one thing that he had faith in, it was Keith. And he could only pray that Keith will help him believe in that.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, hello! This was a gift for @/goldentruth813 a super awesome writer that I like and admire from afar! Happy Sheithlentines 2020, hope this is to your liking, it's been quite a while since I've written anything *sweats* And this is my first time contributing to the VLD fandom, so please be nice! It might take me a little bit to get into the rhythm of the characters and how to properly portray them, but I'll keep trying. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Follow my Twitters and such, I retweet and post threads sometimes 
> 
> @Corrosive_M (sfw)  
> @Corrosive_Smut (nsfw)


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